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the ever expanding journal. here are some early morning thoughts.

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Feb. 17th, 2014 | 11:27 am

“sometimes i feel i would operate better as a ghost in this world. floating through cities untouched. grazing over mountaintops. watching the sunrise in the morning from dusty cafes in the desert. or drifting on a boat full of fishermen on a foggy lake in japan. to sit fearlessly on the edge of fire escapes in chinatown in NYC, my vision hazed by the smoke from chickens being cooked below by street vendors. to drift over a grid of paper lanterns that illuminate the food carts with a soft, warm glow.

when i was 13, i dreamt i would move to chinatown or live in an apartment above an old hardware store or cafe on a beach somewhere. maybe jersey shore. order chinese take out and spend my days painting as the blocks of window shaped sunlight move around my walls. it’s funny how education and experience shapes the things we want. it’s silly, but some part of me will always think chinese food take away boxes (the white ones with the red stamped painting on the side) are exotic. and how i once dreamt of living on the jersey shore, but would now settle for becoming a ghost and sit on fire escapes unnoticed.

maybe it’s the same dream (the solitaire existence, the love of beautiful of light) the only difference is that i’d rather die and be a ghost than move to new jersey.”

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